19 - Baby Steps to New Beginnings

Things change when we are aging. Whether it is our physical abilities, our outlook on life, or our cognitive abilities, reality is we age.  The good news is...we can still branch out and try new experiences.  In today's episode I share thoughts on life, gratitude and recent events that confirmed my new approach to living. I am capable of memorizing lines and attending a film festival on my own.  I am not a wallflower after all! 

Thanks for listening!  This is a hobby podcast, with a positive vibe. No legal or medical advice is provided in this podcast, it's recorded for entertainment purposes only.  No cooking advice either - some things are best left for the professionals.  Have a great day! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Hi everyone, it's Lindy here. Welcome back to the podcast. Wow, it feels so good to be back in the podcast chair. And it's hardly been a week since my last recording. Oh my goodness, I seem to be on a roll lately. Oh, and it's not because I have all this time on my hands, and I'll get into that in a little bit. No, no, no. It's just that I'm on a creative roll right now. Having a great time with it. And uh this is a hobby for me, of course. I mean my podcast is a hobby, but it's my creative outlet. It's a place where I get to share positive thoughts, get to share a bit of life reflections. People often ask me, well, why are you doing it? Well, because it's fun for me and it makes me smile, makes me happy. It's a creative release. And I always hope at the end of it that whoever's listening, okay, that would be you, and anyone else who's listening to this podcast, no matter where you are in this world, no matter where you are in this journey called life. I hope that my podcast just gets you thinking a little bit about, you know, the fact that sometimes it is the smaller things in life that really matter. I hope it brings some positivity to your day, and I hope it gets you thinking that when you're done the podcast, you want to go out, you want to smile, you want to be kind to somebody. Uh I just hope it gets you thinking peacefully because that's um that's just so important to me. I just really wish we could be in a world where there was just nothing but peace and kindness. And don't get me wrong, we all mess up a little bit along the way, but if our intentions are good and we're just trying to be really kind to everybody, wow, what a good world it could be. Uh when I'm recording this podcast, um, it's just me. Um, I don't have a big fancy production team, no big fancy studio. No, it's just me, Lindy. And I sit here with my creative mind and my microphone, and I'm yakking away, sharing my thoughts. Uh and you know a lot of podcasters, the big famous podcasters that are out there, um, they have big production teams. It's like they're professionals. They have people that do their music, people that do their editing, people that do their hair, people that organize all their posting on social media. They got people that do all of it. But when you're like me and you're a hobby podcaster, you're pretty much a one-person show and you do everything. And and when I had my last series, I used to spend a lot of time editing my episodes, making sure I deleted every breath in, doing this, doing that. Now I'm like, whatever. I don't have time to do that, and I have to prioritize juggling this with everything else I'm doing. So I put it out the way that I put it out. And it's not about whether or not I captured that extra breath or didn't take out an um or didn't take out a oh you know. Yeah, sometimes I say um and you know. Whatever. It's my podcast and it's me, and I'm speaking from the heart, and that's what's most important, at least in my world. Anyway, um, I'm gonna talk a little bit today about when we do things out on our own, when we step outside the box, when we try something different, but we um just don't always have to do it with other people around us. And I'm just gonna share a little bit about that. And I'm gonna talk about friends as well, too. I'm not talking about friends. Some people talk about friends and they're like, yeah, he was doing this and she was doing that, and blah, blah, blah. No, not that kind of talking about friends. I mean, talking about the value of my friends, how much I appreciate my friends. And there's just so many things that I'm appreciative of, okay? And sometimes in life we just get busy, we take things for granted. And it's even human nature. Sometimes we complain, oh my gosh, I just cleaned the house and now the house is a freaking mess again. I just washed the floors and now there's mud over in the corner. I just mowed the lawn and now the grass needs mowing again. Oh geez, I just weeded the garden and look at that, all that chickweed's coming back in again. Those chickens! Somebody needs to feed them again. Okay, I just threw the chicken thing in there. But seriously, what can happen is sometimes we find we have all these things that we need to do, and it's human nature. Sometimes we get grumbling, I just did it, now I gotta do it again. Blah, blah, blah. It seems like every time I turn around I'm cleaning the house. Well, guess what? Got a house to live in. Got a roof over your head. Complaining about dishes? Well, think twice. It means that you've had a meal on your table. Um, yeah, that's a pretty darn good thing. It means you're probably not going to bed hungry at night. And if you're complaining about having to change the sheets on the bed and doing more laundry, well, guess what? You got a bed to sleep in. Because a lot of people in this world don't have that right now. And for a lot of people it's not their fault. It's life and its circumstances. And uh yeah, it's so important to be grateful for what we have, even when they are small things. And always remember what's a small thing for one person may not be small for another. Uh, you know, as I'm growing older, I'm really recognizing that I've got more physical limitations than I did 20 years ago, 10 years ago, yeah, even a year ago. Although I will say my health right now is better than it was two years ago. That's a different topic, but certainly, even though I'm having some challenges on and off, I'm way better than I was two years ago. So I'm pretty lucky. You know, things are gonna change with our bodies, right? I'm aging. What did I expect? I mean, it's not like you're gonna get younger every time you have a new birthday. Yeah, and I keep having it in my head, okay, because when I turn 60 this summer, I want to have the mind of a 30-year-old. I want to have the body of a 20-year-old. Good luck. I I think some days I do feel 60, but you know, I keep telling my partner I'm gonna keep a young mind in order to maintain healthy longevity. Because I like being on this earth. And I figure if I keep my mind active, I do my best to look after my body, hopefully I will be fortunate and it'll help carry me a long way. And the fact that I got to live this long is truly a blessing because not everybody gets that opportunity and it's not always their fault. We all have different bodies, different health challenges. And I just kind of look at it and I think, well, it's up to me to make sure that I look after this body and I do my best to keep it healthy, and that's not just my body, that's my mind. I have to work both of them. I always think of it like this, okay. Think about your car. Okay, so if you own a vehicle and say you get your vehicle and you never change the oil in your car, okay, and it starts rattling, making these sounds, and pretty soon it's blowing blue smoke out the exhaust. Kind of sounds like a 60-year-old. Just kidding. But seriously, if you're ignoring all those sounds in your engine and you're never doing maintenance of any kind, and you always think, ah, yeah, yeah, this thing should last a little longer. Why am I gonna invest in it? Well, guess what? Your car is likely gonna break down due to lack of care. And our bodies are no different. Yeah, if you don't look after it, eventually it's gonna give you a bit of grief and start backfiring. Anyway, um, I take longer when I'm out working in the yard now. I'm not as fast as I used to be. Well, I like to think I am, but you know, I'll go and do stuff for a little bit, but I do have some things that act up on my body. Part of it is getting older. And some of it's just wear and tear over the years on different body parts. And I'll just take my arms, for example. I worked in an offices for many, many, many years. I was on a keyboard, and yeah, my forearms are a little bit thrashed right now, so I can only do yard work for so many hours. You know, depending on what it is I'm doing. For me, it's a gripping thing. So I get out there now and I used to be able to do eight hours straight in the yard. Well, I can probably do eight hours in the yard, but I gotta stop in between and change what I'm doing. I can't always be gripping hand tools in the yard because that doesn't work for my hand anymore. And there's so much I still can do, you know, like we've got a battery-operated little push-around lawn mower. We got a pretty big yard. But sometimes I need that little mower just to do spots here and there or just to get around the edges and do the weed trimming, and it can be a couple hours of mowing at a time. And I love doing it. I mean, gosh, it feels so good to be out there. Works your leg muscles, works your back muscles. It just feels good to be moving. But you know what happens to me when I do stuff like this the next day, can't open my right hand. Yeah, I'll grip a handle for a long time and then I get swollen fingers, and they're not pretty hands anymore. No, gosh, no. Sometimes I look at ladies that have these pretty dainty little fingers and these nice manicured nails, and oh my gosh, I wish my hands looked like that. I look at mine, I got knobby knuckles now, they're arthritic, they're changing. Um, they're swollen the next day, like I was mentioning. Usually when I get up in the morning, my right hand uh have a couple fingers that are stuck, my thumb's starting to do it. Probably gonna have to get a cortisone shot in it again. I had one a year ago. Um, and so what happens is I wake up in the morning, my right hand is stuck when I first wake up, and I just can't get a couple fingers to open. So I gotta use my left hand to go and force those fingers to straighten out. And once they straighten out, eventually I can use it again, and it's life. It's aging. I'm still mowing the lawn and I'm still riding my bike. Yeah. And, you know, even the bike does that to me. I ride my bike now the next day, and my hand is stuck shut in the morning, but that's okay. You know what? I'm still able to do things. You're just having to change how I do things a bit. Think back to when I was raising my kids, okay? I I used to get really stressed out if my house was messy or it was dirty. I'm not a perfectionist, not at all. Um, I didn't like it if things were getting too messy or too dirty. And and it was hard when I was raising my kids. I I had to go back to work. I don't say wanted to. I had to go back to work when my kids were quite young. It was just the nature of where life was at for me at that time. And uh I I remember sometimes it just seemed like it was overwhelming, you know, if you're a full-time working parent and you're trying to keep things up. And I remember my mom telling me one day, she's going, hey, you know what? Dust is always going to be there. Kids are only going to be little ones. She was right. She was so right about that. And and I was reminded of that the other day. See, because I'm in the process of trying to scan the remainder of my photo albums. I got lots of old photos, and I want my kids to have those pictures. Well, my kids live in two different locations, one set of photos. I'm scanning them, I'm backing them up, and I'm having them so that no matter what happens, say if my house ever burnt down tomorrow or I had a flood or whatever, those pictures are saved and they've got access to them. But when I look at those pictures, I'm not looking at whether or not there was a milk jug on the counter or did I have the house clean that day, or there's some pictures I have of a house where we bought the house and it didn't have any landscaping yet, so it was a bit of a mud pit in the backyard. I'm not looking at that when I'm looking at those pictures. I'm looking at the smiles on the faces of the people that I love. I'm reminded of a moment in time when I chose to capture an event with the click of a button. Yeah, because obviously something was happening in that day that it was special or it mattered to me. So I captured that photo, uh, captured that time with the photo. And that's what we do when we want to remember something. Sometimes it's click, snap, say cheese, yeah, capture that. And years later, here I am going back and having a look at it. And I'm just thinking, yeah, you know, I have so much to be grateful for, so grateful for these memories. But it didn't matter if the house was clean or not when we took those pictures. And I look at it this way too, and I think, you know, back in my day, we had a flash cube. Remember that? It was like a little four-squared thing with little lights on it. I call them lights. You put it on top of your phone. We had films, and uh, you would use your flash cube to make the picture brighter. Uh yeah, I'm glad I had the 110 Instamatic in the film back in those days. But you know what, I didn't need to alter those images because those images are my memories and they're the things that mattered to me. And when I look back at those photos, I am so reminded of happy times. I found pictures recently, people that I knew 35 years ago. And honestly, there's some people that I'd forgotten, had crossed paths with at some point in my life. Not that I forget that person, it's just that they're not part of my life. Now it was 35 years ago, and I'd honestly kind of forgotten that I knew that person for a short period of time. Then I find them in my pictures. I'm like, oh, how cool is that? I wonder what that person's up to. And next thing you know, I'm reaching out, I'm connecting with them, like, hey, yeah, yeah, how are you doing? You know, I wondered what happened to you, blah, blah, blah. And it's not that we were really ever close friends, but maybe they were a friend of a friend who came to my house and a connection, acquaintance, whatever. But it's just kind of neat to have those memories. And again, it didn't start with needing to have a clean house or a perfect yard. It just started with connecting with some nice people. Friends are really important. Uh, good friends, you know, the kind of people that have your back, the kind of people that don't judge you, they're there for you, they don't take advantage of you, they're happy to see you, but they don't put pressure on you and life gets busy. Um, I'm really lucky because I have really good friends I am. And I'm looking through all these pictures, and yeah, there's some people from years ago that I used to hang out with, and yeah, we kind of lost touch. Our lifestyles changed, some moved, others went in different directions, but you know, it was never a fight. It was nothing like that. It was just people moving in different ways. Sometimes we just couldn't seem to find common ground and conversations maybe seemed a bit strained. We just weren't really connecting that much anymore. Lots of pleasantries, but not really connecting. Yeah, it happens. And so that's what happens. Sometimes people just move their own ways because you're maybe not like-minded so much anymore, but it doesn't mean one person's good or one person's bad, it's just differences, and that's okay. Um, and I had a really great experience this past weekend, okay? So this is just, you know, kind of a roundabout way bringing all these things together, my topics, talking about friends, talking about stepping outside the box. Well, part of my really great experience was I attended a local film festival here in the Comox Valley. And it was my first time doing something like this. Really? I've never been to a film fest, and it was the first time that I did this, and oh my gosh, I I just can't speak highly enough of it, and I'm thinking, why the heck didn't I do this before? It's taken me almost 60 years to figure out that you should go to a film festival. It's really cool. And oh my gosh, the talent and the work that went into those movies was just unbelievable. And they were just top-notch. They were so good, they were heartwarming, they were educational. There's just so much that was so good. And I'm learning so much about a world I really didn't know anything about. Uh, when I attended that uh festival, I also signed up and I took a writing workshop. Okay, now that was really cool, and um, it was actually produced by somebody who's had a lot of work in the uh television industry, and now it's just made me really want to open up that door to screenwriting. Yeah, I want to learn more about screenwriting, and I have so many creative ideas. Gosh, I do. And I'd really like to see some of my creative stories, maybe end up in a theater on a big screen somewhere someday. Wouldn't that be cool? Yeah, it's just it's really inspired me to step outside the box a bit more, do a little bit more. And there's a few more big steps for me this past weekend. Okay, so first of all, I went to the film festival by myself. Yeah. I didn't have it lined up with somebody, hey, let's go to film fest, I'll meet you there at seven and we'll do this and we'll do that. Mm-mm. I knew a couple people who were gonna be there and said, Oh, I might see you when I'm there, but I did not go with anybody. I went all by myself. Yeah. Just me. And I sat by myself in the theater the first night. Okay, this is something I have never done before. And it felt kind of weird for me at first. Okay, yeah, so I knew a couple of people there, but not many, not the first night. And you know, people go to movies by themselves all the time. Lots of people do, but I have never done that. So I know this might sound weird, but for me, it went from a feeling of feeling kind of awkward just to feeling totally empowered. I can't describe what it did for me. So it kind of started out that I got there and I ran into a couple of people that I knew, but they already had their seats. And uh it was pretty full in theirs. And I'm sitting in there and I decided, well, okay, I don't really know anybody here, and felt kind of weird at first. It seemed everywhere I turned around, people were like, oh hey, you're here, your seat's here. Oh, I saved a seat for you, or here, here. Hey, good. I knew you were gonna be here, and I'm kind of sitting there looking around, going, hmm, I don't really know too many people here, and I'm feeling kind of weird here. So I decided I was gonna wander down to the front row. Um, and I sat in the very, very front row. And I felt sat in a seat all by myself. There was nobody immediately nearby me. And I'm just sitting there looking around, going, oh, this is strange. I've never done this, but it feels so cool. Yeah, it feels cool. Like I'm I can do this all by myself. And I could see everything so clearly. And nobody's head was in front of me. There's nothing blocking my view. I was the only one seated in that row. I didn't have to worry about elbow room. I had the old chair to myself. But most of the seats behind me were full. And again, as I'm sitting there and I'm just kind of before things got started, I kept hearing, oh, good, your seats over here. I saved it. Come over here. And I'm like, hmm, this feels weird. Anyway, before the movie started, I I started watching the people who are coming in and out. You know, groups are hugging each other. And yeah, it just at first I kind of thought, you know, I feel a little bit like I did at my first high school or my first dance in elementary school. Okay, this is what it took me back to. Suddenly I'm I'm sitting there and I had this memory of a dance. I think it was seventh grade. And I remember in that dance, I was like the wallflower. I think that's what they call it. You know, I was a kid at that dance who sat alone. I was off on the side. And I actually remember that dance because I I did spend a lot of time alone at that dance, and that was just where I was at at that time. And then suddenly I realized this was actually cool. This was not me, the wallflower at the dance in grade seven, where I was sitting by myself for most of the night. No, this wasn't it. I was free to sit where I wanted to sit. I was free to be doing this on my own. I didn't need somebody to hold my hand. I didn't need somebody to sit beside me to be able to enjoy the movie that I watched. Gosh, no, as soon as that movie started, I was so into that movie. It was the best movie ever. And I just I really, really enjoyed it. Well, I say it's the best movie ever, but there was lots of good movies that weekend. But yeah, I'm just saying that it was such a good movie. Uh the movie was called The Art of Adventure, and it was a documentary about Robert Bateman and uh his friend and biologist Bristol Foster on their expedition in a Land Rover over in the 1950s. That show was so informative, it was so heartwarming. It seemed like the time just flew by. And when it was all done, I was thinking, oh my gosh, I am so glad I came to this. And I want to watch it again, and I plan to. I'm definitely going to watch that show again. Well, the next day I did something else and I attended a writing workshop. Oh my gosh, and it was so cool. And then when I got there, well, so many people I'd met through my acting classes were in the same workshop. And it was kind of neat, so I went in, I knew a couple of people to say hello to, but at that point, I think I was getting more comfortable in my own skin that it didn't matter if I knew people or not. I was there to learn and I learned so much that day. But yeah, I guess it really did feel great to be around other people who are creative like me. Some are just like me, and they're just at the beginning of their journeys, where others are seasoned actors. So again, I had another perspective on just how much time and effort and work goes into bringing a creative idea to script and then to screen. And most people are never going to know just how much it works and how much work it really does take to make a movie happen. I mean, gosh, I'm learning so much. It's unreal. That is not a nine to five job. People behind the scenes in those movies, they're working their butts off. Yeah, it's hard work. But I would bet it's such, I don't know, it's probably so fulfilling. And that's probably why people do that for a career, especially if you're creative. If you have a chance to see your work come together and go to fruition and it turns into something magnificent, how could you not love doing it? It would be so cool. On the final day of the film festival, some of my classmates were reading, so I went out because I wanted to show my support for my classmates. Well, I found myself chatting with a young actor after the show, and she's a really young gal who was in one of my classes. Um, she's not taking classes right now due to her work schedule. And it's kind of funny, you know, how sometimes we think, because I'm thinking, okay, gosh, I'm nearly 60. She's probably in her early twenties. Like I think she's definitely younger than my youngest child, and she probably wouldn't be interested in talking with me, little old me. Well, was I ever wrong? We had such a great conversation because we both have a common interest. Age didn't matter. And it kind of reminded me, kicked me in the butt, yeah, age doesn't matter when you have something in common. You can be friends with people of all ages. Doesn't matter if you're 20 and somebody's eighty, if you got something in common, you can be friends. Why not? Well, anyway, before I knew it, I had ran into a couple of other people I met through class, and soon we're going for a walk together, we're out on the lunch break, we ended up walking, and then we ended up in a small cafe. And I was really blown away by how quickly we connected. And I'm just getting to know these people, and soon we're brainstorming, we're collaborating, we're just having incredible conversations, and something that would not have happened if I had hid behind a rock and been afraid to go out on my own. So where am I going with all of this? Yeah, me rambling. That's Lindy. Anyway. Um, I I guess what I was just trying to say is that when I stepped outside the box this past weekend, I did something I've never done before, and I did it on my own. The people who know me well will know what this means to me. It's kind of like the freedom I felt when I learned to ride a motorcycle when I turned. 52 years old. Yeah, it was freedom. A chance to do something different on my own. And it's funny how it really inspired me. Okay, so like last night I did a recording in my acting class. And what happens is we get scre scripts. Usually I can't talk. Yes, I'm trying to act and I can't talk. Anyway, we we get these scripts a few days ahead of our class and we need to memorize them, and then we go in and we play a role and we we record it in the studio. And yeah, it felt so great. So what happens is we stand up in front of the camera, got a blue screen behind us, somebody's reading the opposite lines, and then we're reading we're reading back our lines. Hopefully reciting them back. Anyways, the first time that I recorded and I left my script aside. Yeah, because you know what usually happens to me is I'll go to class and I'll have memorized everything the week before, and then I get nervous. And it's kind of like a little security blanket. I just want to have my script there just in case I need to see those lines. And then it becomes almost like a little bit of a crutch for me because I know it's there and it's like, oh, I can't remember that word. I can't remember that word. Just let me look at my script. I've been doing that for so long. Well, last night was the first time after eight months of classes, I stood out in front of the cameras and I did not have my script in my hand. I did not bring it with me. I left it on a table away from the place where we were recording. It was a big step for me. And I was almost word perfect last night. And that for me, that's a big step, you see, because I am turning 60 this year. I'm learning how to re redo things with my mind. I'm learning how to memorize better. And I was really tired when I did it last night. It was almost nine at night when I was recording. That's late for me. Heck yeah. Usually I'm falling asleep on the coach at night when I'm home. Now here I was. I'm at class just before nine o'clock at night recording a script in front of camera. And uh the script are sorry, just recording a scene in front of a camera, and I don't have a script in my hand. I'd already had a really busy day before I went in there. I'd been doing errands in the morning, I did a ton of yard work, had a 20k bike ride, and yeah, I'd even practiced a little bit at home. But my point is that I'm just happily embracing doing things that are new. I'm embracing what comes with it. It's new learning opportunities, new friendships. All of it is so good. And again, if I was sitting at home and afraid to step outside the box, I'd be missing out on all of this. And I'm so grateful for everything. I'm grateful for the friends that I have. Oh, and I have some really, really amazing friends. I mean, some of my friends I have I met in elementary school, some are my friends from high school, others I met from work over the years, some I've met from camping. Even in recent years, I've made friends with people I've been camping with. Now I'm making friends through acting. And it's not about how many friends I have. Gosh, no. That is completely irrelevant to me. I'm not worried about how many people I have on my Facebook, I'm not worried about how many likes I have. I'm not worried about whether I'm a social butterfly or not. But I'm just so grateful to be enriched through the presence of kind people. People who are now holding a really special place in my heart. And as I came out of this festival too, now I've got a really good idea for a new script, and I think I'm gonna start working on it like really soon. And you know what? The idea came from my experience at the film fest. Came from my observations of chicken behavior and life experience. So again, it's just it's amazing how that kaleidoscope of life can be seen with a different lens when we open our minds to new opportunities. I'm grateful for today. Sun's shining, I see blue skies, I have family and we love each other. I have really good friends near and far. Got food on my table, roof over my head. I am free to be me. Not everyone can say this. I don't take anything for granted. Things can change in an instant. Have you ever thought about trying something new? Hey, have you ever decided you want to learn to play guitar but you don't think you're good enough? Have you decided you want to try painting but you feel like you're just not artistic enough? Maybe you just want to be more social but you don't even know how to start. Hey, it's okay to feel nervous and have self-doubt. Just remember you don't have to be perfect to enjoy it. Yeah, everything takes time. And it's okay to do things on your own at your own pace. Sure, it's taken me eight months to put a script aside and be able to record without having a paper in my hand. But guess what? I can do it now. I'm gonna have no hesitation going to a film festival by myself in the future. Even a movie. If I want to do it, I'm just gonna do it. But too bad I can't say the same about a motorcycle, but guess what? My hands and hip are telling me otherwise. But you know what? I did it while I could. And that is such a blessing. So yeah, I just I'm looking at everything today. I'm looking back on everything with gratitude. My life is changing, going in new directions, trying new things. And if I was a Fraydy cat and not letting myself go out there and trying new things, I'd be missing out. So yeah, that's it. Um, yeah, I'm just so grateful for everything, and I'm grateful for you, my listeners, the people who decided to tune in and listen to my podcast today. But I am gonna have to wrap it up as much as I'm grateful for everything. I'm not gonna be grateful to myself if I don't get my butt out there and start tackling those chores. So that's it, I gotta run. Got paperwork to deal with, I got a trailer full of bark mulch I gotta spread on gardens. Oh, and before I head out, just a quick reminder. Uh, you'll notice in the show notes for this episode there's a little line that says share your comments. Uh hopefully you can click on it and be able to be directed to a spot where you can share either an email or a voicemail message for me. Um, and I'd love to hear from you. Find out where are you listening from? What do you like about the episodes? Um, yeah, it's always great to hear from people. I I do this little podcast, but I often don't know who is it who's listening on the other side. Alright, that's it. I do have to go. Have a great week, everybody. And before I head out, just a quick reminder smiles come in all languages and in all colors. Okay, take care.